END OF MONTH REFLECTION: JANUARY

I'm sure I am not the only one that is glad to see the back of January. I think, over the years, January has been deemed the most depressing month of the year, and it's almost become acceptable to be gloomy in its presence. I am quite surprised that February is here already though, time just flies as we get older and it's hard to grasp it before it slips through our fingertips. I have been under so much pressure and stress over the last few weeks, that if February doesn't bring me any light, I will crumble. It's funny, I have had this stress-orientated post planned for a little while and then saw Lily put something similar up regarding the topic yesterday, which is a great post by the way and you should all read it. It really helped me get my head in order, I guess a lot of you are feeling the same way we are.

Managing with stress is not a strong point of mine, in fact it is one of my biggest weaknesses. My stress leads to anxiety, depression, frustration and every negative thought that one brain can hold, I just spiral out of control and use all the wrong methods of coping. I can't handle my personal stresses well; which is rather strange because when I get stressed over something at work I can always plough through it and be objective in getting on top of my load, so I don't know why it's so different when it's personal. I guess, stress originates from -in some cases- the pressure we put on ourselves; the constant comparing to others, the pressure to succeed, the question of 'am I achieving what I should be at this age?'. I think if January has taught me anything, it's to take a step back and breathe, and to work through things with logical thought processes rather than to embark on utter distress and panic.

I'm not going to go into it on here, but many that know me in real life know that when I fall, I fall hard and my way of coping is none other than destructive. I put a lot of this to bed in 2014, but I still struggle every single day to remain on track, think positively and move forward in life to the best of my capabilities. I've recently been told I have to leave my little flat and find somewhere else to live, which is a mega stress in itself, but this triggered a kind of domino effect on the other things in my life, which were just sat dormant half hanging off a cliff and holding on for dear life - so this hurdle has thrown everything else off balance and I am now trying to fix it all so that I have less to worry about. Sometimes I do question whether I made the right decision to struggle in a big city, but I try and counteract my negative thoughts about my choices with the fact that, everything may not be perfect, but I have a few really great friends and am doing something I love and hopefully one day everything will slot into place and I will have a lot less to stress about.

My ultimate top tip to dealing with any kind of stress, sadness or anxiety is to take time out for yourself. Take yourself off somewhere, admire your surroundings and breathe; some days you have to create your own sunshine. Distraction, for me, is the best thing because my mind is being forced to process something else, rather than mulling all the negatives over and over again, enabling self destruct mode. And remember: everything will have to sort itself out in the end, everything must be put back into balance, and it will. I am going to end this with a quote I found on Instagram: "We are not perfect human beings, nor do we have to pretend to be, but it is necessary for us to be the best version of ourselves we can be".  Here's to February!

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